Season Five Quotes
Amy Pond: I thought…well, I started to think you were just a mad man with a box.
The Doctor: Amy Pond, there’s something you better understand about me ’cause it’s important and one day your life may depend on it…I am definitely a mad man with a box.
Amy: Have you ever run away from something because you were scared, or not ready, or just… just because you could?
The Doctor: Once. A long time ago.
Amy: What happened?
The Doctor: [gestures to himself] Hello!
Amy: Why did you do that thing? With the water?
The Doctor: Don’t know. I think a lot. It’s hard to keep track.
The Doctor: The writing… the graffiti: Old High Gallifreyan. [dramatically] The lost language of the Time Lords. There were days, there were many days, where these words could burn stars, raise up empires, and topple gods.
Amy: What does this one say?
The Doctor: [hesitates, then, exasperatedly] “Hello, sweetie.”
River Song: Use the stabilisers!
The Doctor: It doesn’t have stabilisers!
River Song: The blue switches!
The Doctor: The blue ones don’t do anything, they’re just… blue!
River Song: Yes they’re blue: they’re the blue stabilisers! [presses the button and the TARDIS indeed stabilises] See?
The Doctor: Yeah? Well, it’s boring now, isn’t it? They’re boring-ers! They’re blue… boring-ers!
Amy: Doctor, how come she can fly the TARDIS?
The Doctor: You call that flying the TARDIS? [scoffs] Ha!
River Song: Okay, I’ve mapped the probability vectors, done a foldback on the temporal isometry, charted the ship to its destination and… [presses a button, the cloister bell clangs] parked us right alongside.
The Doctor: Parked us? But we haven’t landed!
River Song: Of course we’ve landed; I just landed her.
The Doctor: But it didn’t make the noise.
River Song: What noise?
The Doctor: You know, the… [does an impression of the TARDIS materialisation sound]
River Song: It’s not supposed to make that noise. You leave the brakes on.
The Doctor: Yes, well, it’s a brilliant noise. I love that noise.
The Doctor: [aiming gun at the ceiling] Didn’t anyone ever tell you? There’s one thing you never put in a trap, if you’re smart. If you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there’s one thing you never, ever put in a trap.
Angel Bob: And what would that be, sir?
The Doctor: Me.
Father Octavian: [asking about the Doctor] Dr. Song, I’ve lost good Clerics today. Do you trust this man?
River Song: I absolutely trust him.
Father Octavian: He’s not some kind of madman?
River Song: [beat] I absolutely trust him.
Vincent: But you’re not armed!
The Doctor: I am!
Vincent: What with?
The Doctor: Overconfidence, this, and a small screwdriver. I’m absolutely sorted.
Craig: Where did you learn to cook?
The Doctor: Paris in the 18th century. No, hang on, that’s not recent is it? 17th? No no, 20th. Sorry, I’m not used to doing it in the right order.
Craig: Has anyone ever told you that you’re a bit weird?
The Doctor: They never really stop.
River Song: I have questions, but number one is this: What in the name of sanity have you got on your head?
The Doctor: It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezzes are cool.
Rory: Amy, what is it?
Amy: Something old. Something new. Something borrowed. Something blue.
[To triumphant music, the TARDIS returns to the Universe. Amy runs to it and knocks on the door]
Rory: [In the background] It’s the Doctor! How could we forget the Doctor? I was plastic! He was the stripper at my stag do!
Amy: Okay Doctor, did I surprise you this time?
[The TARDIS doors open, revealing the Doctor wearing a top hat, white tie and tails]
The Doctor: Er, yeah. Completely astonished. Never expected that. [steps out of the TARDIS] How lucky I happen to be wearing this old thing. Hello, everyone! I’m Amy’s imaginary friend! But I came anyway.
Amy: You absolutely, definitely may kiss the bride–
The Doctor: Amelia, from now on, I shall be leaving the… kissing duties to the brand new… Mr. Pond!
Rory: No! I’m not Mr. Pond. That’s not how it works.
The Doctor: Yeah it is.
Rory: [looks at Amy nervously] …Yeah, it is.