Season 8 Quotes
The Doctor: [to Strax] Come on, Clara, you know that I speak Dinosaur.
Clara: He’s not Clara. I’m Clara!
The Doctor: Well, you’re very similar heights. Maybe you should wear labels.
The Doctor: Who invented this room?!
Clara: Doctor, please, you have to lie down.
The Doctor: It doesn’t make sense. Look, it’s only got a bed in it. Why is there only a bed in it?
Clara: Because it’s a bedroom. It’s for sleeping in.
The Doctor: Okay, what do you do when you’re awake?
Jenny: You leave the room.
The Doctor: So you’ve got a whole room for not being awake in? But what’s the point? You’re just missing the room. And don’t look in that mirror. It’s absolutely furious.
Clara: Doctor, please. You have to lie down, you keep passing out.
The Doctor: Well, of course I keep passing out. There’s all these beds.
Barney: I don’t like it.
The Doctor: What?
Barney: Your face!
The Doctor: Well, I don’t like it either! It’s all right up to the eyebrows, then it just goes haywire! Look at the eyebrows. These are attack eyebrows. You can take bottle tops off with these!
Barney: They are mighty eyebrows, indeed, sir.
The Doctor: They’re cross! They’re crosser than the rest of my face. They’re independently cross! They probably want to cede from the rest of my face and set up their own independent state of eyebrows! Oh, that’s Scots… I am Scottish. Haven’t I? I’ve gone Scottish?
Barney: Yes, you are. You are definitely Scots, sir. I… I hear it in your voice.
The Doctor: Oh, no, that’s good. [he practices the ‘oh’ sound] It’s good I’m Scottish. I’m Scottish. I am Scottish. I can complain about things, I can really complain about things.
The Doctor: Look… [shows Barney a newspaper clipping about the recent “spontaneous combustion” case] Spontaneous combustion.
Barney: What devilry is this, sir?
The Doctor: I don’t know, but I’d probably blame the English.
The Doctor: [to Clara] You’re great on adrenaline. [to the Half-Faced Man] And you’re out of your depth, sir. Never try and control a control freak.
Clara: I am not a control freak!
The Doctor: Yes ma’am.
The Doctor: I’m the Doctor. I’ve lived for over two thousand years, and not all of them were good. I’ve made many mistakes, and it’s about time I did something about that. Clara, I’m not your boyfriend.
Clara: I never thought you were.
The Doctor: I never said it was your mistake.
The Doctor: Wow, a molecular nano-scaler!
Journey: You know what it does, then?\
The Doctor: It miniaturises living matter. What’s the medical application, though? Do you shrink the surgeons so they can climb inside the patients?
The Doctor: Fantastic idea for a movie. Terrible idea for a proctologist.
The Doctor: This is Clara. Not my assistant. She’s… er… some other word.
Clara: I’m his carer.
The Doctor: Yeah, my carer. She cares so I don’t have to.
The Doctor: Old-fashioned heroes only exist in old-fashioned storybooks, Clara.
Clara: What about you?
The Doctor: Me?
Clara: Yeah. You. You stop bad things happening every minute of every day. That sounds pretty heroic to me.
The Doctor: [modestly] Just passing the time.
The Doctor: You’re not serious.
Robin: [amused] I’m many things, sir, but I’m never that. Robin Hood laughs in the face of all. Ha ha ha!
The Doctor: And do people ever punch you in the face when you do that?
Robin: Not as yet.
The Doctor: Lucky I’m here, then, isn’t it?
Robin: So, is it true, Doctor?
The Doctor: Is what true?
Robin: That in the future I am forgotten as a real man. I am but a legend.
The Doctor: I’m afraid it is.
Robin: Hmm… Good. History is a burden. Stories can make us fly.
The Doctor: I’m still having a little trouble believing yours, I’m afraid.
Robin: Is it so hard to credit? That a man born into wealth and privilege should find the plight of the oppressed and weak too much to bear… until one night he is moved to steal a TARDIS? Fly among the stars, fighting the good fight? Clara told me your stories.
The Doctor: [irritated] She should not have told you any of that.
Robin: Well, once the story started, she could hardly stop herself. You are her hero, I think.
The Doctor: I’m not a hero.
Robin: Well neither am I. But if we both keep pretending to be — ha ha — perhaps others will be heroes in our name. Perhaps we will both be stories. And may those stories never end. [they shake hands] Goodbye, Doctor, Time Lord of Gallifrey.
The Doctor: Goodbye, Robin Hood, Earl of Loxley.
Robin: And remember, Doctor… I’m just as real as you are.
The Doctor: What’s that in the mirror? Or the corner of your eye?
What’s that footstep following, but never passing by?
Perhaps they’re all just waiting, perhaps when we’re all dead,
Out they’ll come a-slithering from underneath the bed.
Psi: I still don’t get why you’re in charge.
The Doctor: Basically, it’s the eyebrows.
The Doctor: Robbin’ a bank. Robbin’ a whole bank. Beat that for a date.
Clara: What’s that?
The Doctor: A scanner. I’m scanning. Why do I keep you around?
Clara: Because the alternative would be developing a conscience of your own. Scanning for what?
The Doctor: Any alien technology in this vicinity should show up. I used to have a teacher exactly like you.
Clara: You still do. Pay attention.
Danny: You’re using her like a decoy?
The Doctor: No, not like a decoy, as a decoy.
Clara: Tell me what you knew, Doctor, or I’ll smack you so hard you’ll regenerate.
The Doctor: Hello, I am the Doctor and I will be your victim this evening. Are you my mummy?
The Doctor: I couldn’t risk Gus finding out my plan and stopping me.
Clara: So you were… pretending to be heartless?
The Doctor: Would you like to think that about me? Would that make it easier? [pause] I didn’t know if I could save her. I couldn’t save Quell, I couldn’t save Moorhouse. There was a good chance that she’d die too. At which point… I would have just moved on to the next… and the next, until I beat it. Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones, but you still have to choose.
The Doctor: I am not a good man! I’m not a bad man. I’m not a hero. I’m definitely not a president, and no, I’m not an officer. You know who I am? I… am… an idiot! With a box and a screwdriver. Passing through. Helping out. Learning. I don’t need an army. I never have. Because I’ve got them, always them, because love is not an emotion. Love is a promise, and he will never hurt her.
The Doctor: Do you know what the big problem is in telling fantasy and reality apart?
The Doctor: They’re both ridiculous.
The Doctor: [to Shona] You missed a killer question.
Shona: Sorry, what?
The Doctor: [to Santa] How’d you get all the presents in the sleigh?
Santa: Bigger on the inside.
The Doctor: You know what I hate about the obvious?
The Doctor: Missing it.
Santa: You are deep inside this dream, alright. And it is a shared mental state so it is drawing power from the multi-consciousness gestalt which has now formed telepathically…
The Doctor: [Interrupting] No! No, no, no! Line in the sand! Santa Claus does not do the scientific explanation!
Santa: Oh. As the Doctor might say, “Aw, it’s all a bit dreamy-weamy.”
The Doctor: Why don’t you just go and make a naughty list.
Santa: I have, mate, and you’re on it.
The Doctor: Don’t give me that look. You’re supposed to be all warm and friendly and cheerful.
Santa: Oh yeah, look at your great bedside manner.
The Doctor: Don’t be so hostile!
Clara: Doctor, behave.
The Doctor: The TARDIS is outside
The Doctor: So all of time and all of space is sitting out there. A big blue box. Please don’t even argue.